Seven years ago you thrilled me on Saturday nights when you would hiccup your way through your father’s races. As soon as his group of cars would come onto the track, you would wake up and hiccup until the race was over. I would feel you moving as I drove to school in the mornings, singing at the top of my lungs in my sister’s VW Bug. The sound of your heartbeats in the doctor’s office and the sight of your tiny hands and feet would bring a sigh of happiness and contentment to my soul.
I am so blessed that you both choose me to come to. Of all the women in the world, I am the one that got to carry and nourish you for nine months inside my body. The day you were born, I was the one blessed to meet you for the first time. To hold you, tell you I love you and promise to take care of you to the best of my ability. It’s been wonderful getting to know you as individuals, and I look forward to seeing you become the people you were meant to be. Thank you for being you.
I love you Moosie and Rokimus. Happy seven years of life!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Au revoir bon ami...
You have been with me for a while. Your shiny surface brought me up from my morning stupors. The aroma drifting from your depths soothed my soul like no drip could ever possibly hope to. From the organic, fair trade breakfast blends to the French roast Brazilian that you cradled so lovingly - your elixir made those days special. I remember finding you, a $40 pot, for only $10. I knew you’d been made just for me.
I have to let you go now. Perhaps your base will become a lovely candleholder, something to remind me of our special relationship. Please know that you were priceless to me. You filled my senses with your deep roasted aroma and liquid love. I will always remember you. Thank you.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Blah, blah, blah...
I’ve sat down to blog after being told by my friends that it’s been almost 14 days since my last entry. Now, this should tell you that life seems to be moving impossibly fast for me as I could have sworn that it’s only been a few days since that entry.
Of course, life does tend to speed up in relative time when shit happens. Shit like your daughter running full out into the side of a parked truck, only to fall face first onto a rock. The rock and truck are just fine, but they’ve done considerable damage to my Moosie’s mouth. She’s now running around with two less teeth, a scraped chin and an impressively busted lower lip. We’re all hoping that perhaps now she will think twice before trying to run full out with her face covered. Hoping, but not holding our breath on that one, as it is a favorite pastime of hers.
Or it could be due to shit like a son having stomach issues. Having issues such as severe cramps and irregular bowel movements. Not all the time, just sometimes. And not running fever. And feeling quite well most of the time, but every now and then, needing to writhe in pain and only want his mamma, not anyone else, not even anyone else to so much as look in his general direction. And yet, moments later he’s feeling well enough to run a marathon around the house and torment his sister about her lack of teeth.
Or, possibly, shit like my mother being 18 hours away in the land of no cell phone reception so that when I wish to hear her voice I have to actually go through my grandmother, aunt, other aunt, or just whomever happens to be near enough to the phone that I’ve been told to call. And if I’m lucky, my mother just might actually be there. Or, she just might be at a local prison visiting a cousin. I tell you, there’s just nothing like calling to talk to your mother only to hear that she’s in prison. And, oh yeah, she’s just visiting there. Of course, there’s always the joyful news that your grandmother will be accompanying her back home. Because apparently the universe thinks I need that extra exercise in patience and understanding.
Maybe it’s due to struggling through a couple of migraines in the past couple of weeks. Can anyone say acupuncture needed – I bet you can! In fact, I’ve gotten my hubby to set me up with a local doc that does acupuncture for headaches. I plan on going in there and telling him which points I need done, because I’m just that nervous going to someone other than my beloved Dr. Turner. I don’t have the time to travel to see Dr. T though, so I’m going to try to make it by with the local doc.
It could also be that I enjoy reading other blogs. In reality, I don’t really think my writing is all that special. I’m much better at reading blogs than I am writing one. I don’t travel that much, I don’t have a fancy degree or an exciting career. My house is nothing to write home about, unless it’s to tell the relatives not to stay here. Honestly, other than having Meniere’s and migraines, a hubby who races, being a mom to twins - one of whom races and one who likes to run into things with her head covered, being a daughter who is losing her mother to Pancreatic cancer, being a tire store manager, a free-lance graphic designer, and let’s not forget, never-ending ark painter – I am just not all that interesting or exciting. But I am blessed to have terrific friends. Friends that urge me to keep blogging. So, friends, thank you. Thank you for the urging, the phone calls and the thoughts that come my way. You mean more to me than you shall ever realize.
Take care - Me
Of course, life does tend to speed up in relative time when shit happens. Shit like your daughter running full out into the side of a parked truck, only to fall face first onto a rock. The rock and truck are just fine, but they’ve done considerable damage to my Moosie’s mouth. She’s now running around with two less teeth, a scraped chin and an impressively busted lower lip. We’re all hoping that perhaps now she will think twice before trying to run full out with her face covered. Hoping, but not holding our breath on that one, as it is a favorite pastime of hers.
Or it could be due to shit like a son having stomach issues. Having issues such as severe cramps and irregular bowel movements. Not all the time, just sometimes. And not running fever. And feeling quite well most of the time, but every now and then, needing to writhe in pain and only want his mamma, not anyone else, not even anyone else to so much as look in his general direction. And yet, moments later he’s feeling well enough to run a marathon around the house and torment his sister about her lack of teeth.
Or, possibly, shit like my mother being 18 hours away in the land of no cell phone reception so that when I wish to hear her voice I have to actually go through my grandmother, aunt, other aunt, or just whomever happens to be near enough to the phone that I’ve been told to call. And if I’m lucky, my mother just might actually be there. Or, she just might be at a local prison visiting a cousin. I tell you, there’s just nothing like calling to talk to your mother only to hear that she’s in prison. And, oh yeah, she’s just visiting there. Of course, there’s always the joyful news that your grandmother will be accompanying her back home. Because apparently the universe thinks I need that extra exercise in patience and understanding.
Maybe it’s due to struggling through a couple of migraines in the past couple of weeks. Can anyone say acupuncture needed – I bet you can! In fact, I’ve gotten my hubby to set me up with a local doc that does acupuncture for headaches. I plan on going in there and telling him which points I need done, because I’m just that nervous going to someone other than my beloved Dr. Turner. I don’t have the time to travel to see Dr. T though, so I’m going to try to make it by with the local doc.
It could also be that I enjoy reading other blogs. In reality, I don’t really think my writing is all that special. I’m much better at reading blogs than I am writing one. I don’t travel that much, I don’t have a fancy degree or an exciting career. My house is nothing to write home about, unless it’s to tell the relatives not to stay here. Honestly, other than having Meniere’s and migraines, a hubby who races, being a mom to twins - one of whom races and one who likes to run into things with her head covered, being a daughter who is losing her mother to Pancreatic cancer, being a tire store manager, a free-lance graphic designer, and let’s not forget, never-ending ark painter – I am just not all that interesting or exciting. But I am blessed to have terrific friends. Friends that urge me to keep blogging. So, friends, thank you. Thank you for the urging, the phone calls and the thoughts that come my way. You mean more to me than you shall ever realize.
Take care - Me
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Like a song you can't quit singing...
So, if you were wondering about my head list, yes, it’s still there. Running, at times, like a rain-swollen, knocking houses over river. And because I don’t really have it in me to be witty or very informative this morning, and because I have a crap load of laundry to catch up on before my household is running around nekkid, here’s today’s version of the list. Please note, these items are in no certain order of importance. Also, some items may be morbid – please don’t be alarmed as Mother is doing relatively well.
Laundry, dishes, dusting, organizing photos into binders, cleaning bookshelves to have room for binders, laundry, boxing old books/toys/clothes for donation, work on guitar manual, restore some of Mother’s childhood pictures for aunts, scan/touch up/organize photos for Mother’s funeral service, laundry, buy kids’ birthday presents, figure out how to make turtle-shaped cake & gocart-shaped cake, buy cookie cutters in same shapes for school birthday party, clean floors, organize closets, take care of the 941 taxes for the tire store, take care of State Withholding taxes for the store, figure out if I need write-offs for my graphic design business, finish the ark painting at the church, wash Rokimus’ racing jacket for Saturday’s race, pull up carpet in all bedrooms/office/playroom, laundry, order Mother’s urn, decide what to do about the new digital camera I’d like for my birthday, decide about purchasing a 1968 VW transporter, contact State Trooper’s office about getting the store set up again to do State Inspection Stickers, decide which kind of alignment machine we need to go with for the store, decide if laptop would really benefit me, check into high-speed for the store so that I can do my graphic work while managing the tire store, spend as much time as I can with Mother/kids/husband/Daddy, make sure the epileptic basset hound gets medicine 3 times a day, back-up my accounting software and the store’s, figure out what to do about our house addition, laundry, blog…
And the list goes on and on.
By the way, Mother’s scan was not real good. The cancer has spread & grown. We’ve changed chemo again. We’re trying one of the older chemos in hopes of keeping her quality of life good for as long as possible. She’ll hopefully be able to receive this one every 6 weeks. The down side is that they can only give it to her 3 or 4 times. Period. 18 to 24 weeks is not that long in the scheme of things. She’s heading home to Wisconsin tomorrow for a couple of weeks. She believes that this will be her last trip home. I’m going to feel very lost without her here.
I hope ya’ll enjoy the moment. Any moment. Because we never really know what the next moment will bring.
Take care – Me
Laundry, dishes, dusting, organizing photos into binders, cleaning bookshelves to have room for binders, laundry, boxing old books/toys/clothes for donation, work on guitar manual, restore some of Mother’s childhood pictures for aunts, scan/touch up/organize photos for Mother’s funeral service, laundry, buy kids’ birthday presents, figure out how to make turtle-shaped cake & gocart-shaped cake, buy cookie cutters in same shapes for school birthday party, clean floors, organize closets, take care of the 941 taxes for the tire store, take care of State Withholding taxes for the store, figure out if I need write-offs for my graphic design business, finish the ark painting at the church, wash Rokimus’ racing jacket for Saturday’s race, pull up carpet in all bedrooms/office/playroom, laundry, order Mother’s urn, decide what to do about the new digital camera I’d like for my birthday, decide about purchasing a 1968 VW transporter, contact State Trooper’s office about getting the store set up again to do State Inspection Stickers, decide which kind of alignment machine we need to go with for the store, decide if laptop would really benefit me, check into high-speed for the store so that I can do my graphic work while managing the tire store, spend as much time as I can with Mother/kids/husband/Daddy, make sure the epileptic basset hound gets medicine 3 times a day, back-up my accounting software and the store’s, figure out what to do about our house addition, laundry, blog…
And the list goes on and on.
By the way, Mother’s scan was not real good. The cancer has spread & grown. We’ve changed chemo again. We’re trying one of the older chemos in hopes of keeping her quality of life good for as long as possible. She’ll hopefully be able to receive this one every 6 weeks. The down side is that they can only give it to her 3 or 4 times. Period. 18 to 24 weeks is not that long in the scheme of things. She’s heading home to Wisconsin tomorrow for a couple of weeks. She believes that this will be her last trip home. I’m going to feel very lost without her here.
I hope ya’ll enjoy the moment. Any moment. Because we never really know what the next moment will bring.
Take care – Me
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Note to Self No.321...
When you call a friend to catch up and see how they're doing and they are sitting within a few feet of the phone, yet cannot bring themselves to answer, feel free to blog about said friend. Even when they, themselves, have not updated their own blog in quite some time.
Take care - Me
Take care - Me
205,000... and what it'll get you...
So, if you had $205,000 USD, what could you buy? Well, here's some suggestions:
If it were three years ago and you were Babies R Us, you could pay that amount to implement training due to same sex harassment of a male employee.
Or, if you were in the mood to jump on a boat and escape from your everyday life in the middle of America, you could do it in style on this.
Of course, if you already owned one of those, you could take yourself to your very own island condo.
What's that you say? No desire to travel, no need to leave your house? No problem! That same amount will allow you about 207,070 songs on iTunes. Or, you could buy the iPhone, one year's service, a loaded Mac ProBook with 30" HD Cinema display and about 198,387 songs from iTunes.
I refuse to think that anyone out there that had this kind of money would waste it on a Bill Gates, aka Satan, machine.
If, however, you have a CA 19-9 number of 205,000, this amount gets you several used, snotty tissues, a trip to the CT machine ASAP, a 4 day wait for the CT results and most likely a new chemo regime. We really won't know much more until Friday.
Take care - Me
If it were three years ago and you were Babies R Us, you could pay that amount to implement training due to same sex harassment of a male employee.
Or, if you were in the mood to jump on a boat and escape from your everyday life in the middle of America, you could do it in style on this.
Of course, if you already owned one of those, you could take yourself to your very own island condo.
What's that you say? No desire to travel, no need to leave your house? No problem! That same amount will allow you about 207,070 songs on iTunes. Or, you could buy the iPhone, one year's service, a loaded Mac ProBook with 30" HD Cinema display and about 198,387 songs from iTunes.
I refuse to think that anyone out there that had this kind of money would waste it on a Bill Gates, aka Satan, machine.
If, however, you have a CA 19-9 number of 205,000, this amount gets you several used, snotty tissues, a trip to the CT machine ASAP, a 4 day wait for the CT results and most likely a new chemo regime. We really won't know much more until Friday.
Take care - Me
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