Happy Birthday Mom...

I miss you.

Much has gone on in the last few months. Racing season has started and I've even tried my hand at kart racing. I'm really looking forward to trying it again. I feel if I could just stop giggling while racing, I'd do much better! I also was offered a deal with a kart racing magazine for my photos. Pretty exciting stuff.

Then the bottom dropped out - again. My father in law, Grandaddy Chief, passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. He died exactly how he'd always said he wanted - fast & in his sleep. He was such an amazing man. Patience, acceptance, knowledge and understanding inhabited his very being. He was pretty much the center of my children's world and I didn't mind one bit. He would call when we were schooling at the store and see if he could pick them up. He just happen to "need" to come to town and thought he'd get them if they were done with school work. I think I always said yes. Telling our son and daughter that he'd died was the hardest, most heartbreaking thing we've ever done. I felt my son's heart break. I felt my daughter's world crumble and there was nothing I could do about it.

We are getting better, but there are moments when I just want to rage at the higher power. Why? What are we supposed to learn from this? What possible benefit could there be in taking the two most cherished grandparents from my children? I just don't get it.

So, on this, my mother's birthday, I find that I'm between anger, tears and an almost empty, hopeless feeling. There are two less people in the world that accepted me as is, did not try to change me, and loved me unconditionally.

I miss you. I miss your voice in my ear, your hand on my shoulder, your guidance for me and my children and most of all, I miss your love.

Take care - Me

Let's hit it with a stick...

OR NOT!

Today the kids went walking with Granny. Apparently they walked up on a Timber rattler. Now, I know that we live in Mississippi and I've grown up understanding that they are around, but when it's my children that walk up on one, it's a whole different story. Especially when my MIL aka Granny tells the kids "Let's hit it with a stick." Luckily, or divinely as I think, they have sense enough to step back from it and run away. They ran to get Grandaddy and his gun while Granny stayed and poked it enough to coil. WTF?!? She wanted my children to attempt that with her? (btw - it had 10 rattles.)

Thank you Lord that I have gone over with them what to do if they ever run across a poisonous snake. Thank you Lord that they actually listened to me and could recall it when it did happen.

I know that there are those of you out there that don't want the wildlife killed. For the most part, I'm fine with that. For poisonous snakes that we know are there and are on our land where my children roam, they will be killed if at all possible. End of story.

By the way, yesterday was the kids TAG class field-trip. We toured the state art museum and the museum of natural science. There were about 64 children and 15 adults. I am so glad that I've taken the kids to museums before and talked to them about art. So many of these gifted children had absolutely no respect for art. I could really get on my soapbox about that now, but I'm going to save it for another post. While at the MNS, they got to experience a wetland up close and personal and very muddy. I'll try to post pics on the other site within the next day or two. Overall, the kids enjoyed it. I'm still taking headache pills from being with that many disrespectful, hyperactive young people for 12 hours.

Take care - Me

Fabulous Friday to Torrid Tuesday

FF:
CT Scans showed no growth!! WooHoo!! Great news to say the least. She was also able to start her next round of chemo and did not even have to have the stomach injection of EPO for low RBC. (A savings of around $1800) And no, I did not mention a word to Mother about getting ticked at work the day before. Honestly, with the chemo fog she's going through right now, it's very possible she just forgot. The first "F" can have additional meaning for Friday nights as the kids stay with the in-laws! YEA!!

Speed Driven Saturday:
Mother came to pick Moosie up for a girls-night pj party after lunch. I made a mad dash into town to stock up on yogurt, dog food and to help my sister pick out her laser printer. We rushed back to LLL in time to unload shopping and reload all that was heading to the race track with us. (ice, frozen water bottles, ice, water, clothes to dip in the ice, oh and the video recorder) It was 100º at the track and I just don't see how Speedy can stand the heat when he's wearing the 3-layer fire suit. Mother, in the mean time, had called to tell me she was taking Moosie to the rodeo. Oh normal, calm life, where did you go? Will you come back now, please?

---- I will back up in time here & let you know that our son, Rokimus, had his first ever go cart race a couple of weekends ago. He did quite well, seems to be a natural, and I really didn't sprout too many new gray hairs until the announcer came over the speakers to tell us that the little Rokimus driver was OK and noone got hurt. You see, he pulled into the pits without brakes, slamming his cart into another one waiting to go out. He's fine, I'm buying stock in Clairol. He finished the feature race at 3rd place. We'll race his again on Sept. 1.----

Speedy finished third in his feature after scrubbing the wall and getting really close to another racer as he passed them. I was even home before midnight!

Slow, Sundry Sunday:
We slept in. Did you hear that?! We actually slept until around 8:30am! It's been a long time since that's happened. Even Rokimus, the 5 amer, slept until 9am. We did go to church, even me, so no, that wasn't an earthquake you felt, just me going to the Southern Baptist Facility in the backyard. We also found out that Speedy was nominated to be a deacon. ::silence... then sudden bursts of laughter:: While I do believe it to be an honor to be nominated for such a position, and that to help out a house of God is great, I mean, come on. They do know he's married to me don't they?! The one who doesn't believe in moving "letters" or that there should be "membership" for a place of worship. Anywho, we'll find out next Sunday if he's got the gig. I also got to taste the world's worst meatloaf, titled Stuffed Apple Meatloaf. Run, run fast if you are ever served this. Sunday also saw me doing little of nothing other than laundry, tidying up, helping Speedy get the race car ready for washing, etc. Found out that Moosie chased the calves and sat on a bull. Clairol, what is your stock price now? I did actually stay up late, watching the Princess Diana special on TLC until about 11:30pm when I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

Manic, Mean Monday:
We'll begin this day at midnight. With a call from Sister, who has Mother, and is on their way to the ER due to rising fever. I meet them there and we all enjoy the lovely ER facility until, around 3am they release Mother to go back home after running the blood tests, doing the X-rays and putting her on antibiotics. (this brings her to around 7 pills at breakfast & supper, including the oral chemo) I get home around 3:30am, finally go to sleep around 4:15am to be up again shortly after 7am to see the kids off to school. Speedy was wonderful & tried to let me sleep as long as possible. After getting the kids off, I got ready & headed to Mother's. I spent a good deal of the morning massaging her feet and holding her hand as pain would arch her back and make her pant. After the pain pills kicked in, things seemed to go better. I also worked the store for a couple of hours while getting her prescriptions refilled to the tune of around $175, and that's the copay amount. She was much better by evening & I finally got home around 5pm. Let me note here that I am NOT a person that deals well on little to no sleep. I also prayed for those that had to deal with me on this day.

Torrid Tuesday:
I realize that today could have been Terrific Tuesday, but I feel any day that starts with going to Walmart cannot be terrific. Also, any day that the bathtub gets scrubbed, the turtle case gets cleaned and the temp reaches over 100º in the shade is torrid. I did make the wonderful broccoli salad that Marcus sent me the recipe for. Thank goodness I made it since Granny served up the infamous leftover meatloaf from hell for supper tonight. I did know she was serving it & was able to call Speedy at work to forewarn him. He had a meeting to attend after work and was unable to make it home to eat. He owes me. BIG. Ellie did come home today with a more difficult book. Yesterday's lasted 15 minutes. These books are supposed to be read over the course of a week. I requested a more challenging book. It took her about 40 minutes to complete. We'll try again tomorrow.

Take care - me

Item No.3265 or 50th Anniversary Party

The 50th anniversary party went very well. For a small bfe community the turn out for this was great. There was a slide show of the happy couple starting at childhood moving up to current day. The food was delicious and plentiful. The punch, with the heart-shapped ice went was enjoyed by all. The decorations are still being talked about (in a good way) today. (or at least yesterday at church, where I the heathen was not, but Speedy was.) So, here are a couple of pictures to attest that there really was a party & I really was there for it. My sister and I are in the last picture. While I did not get her permission to post this and she does read this, (Hi Sister!) I felt it would be safe to post as neither of us are truly recognizable.