List No. 527...

On and on.

Pack my clothes and kids' clothes, get together items for the Wisconsin memorial, get money market check book to pay for graveside services and stone, deal with house construction issues, laundry, laundry, laundry, get stuff together for employee cookout, write up one employee's last check, go through applications to replace before mentioned employee, get stuff ready for the next two weeks at the store while I'm gone, pack, laundry, get Charlie's meds, get my meds, finish volcano offering plates for vacation bible school, and on and on... Oh yeah - don't forget Mother!! (in the urn)


Take care - Me

Welcome to my head...

Things that go through my head as I drive to and from work/school/home each day...

Oh shit, what would I do if a bird flew in through the windows?

I really need to leave a bit sooner as to not speed quite so fast... Are there ever any troopers/law enforcers on this road anyway?

We really need to pack Mom's house up.

I wonder if an intruder were to attempt intruding, would I just shoot to maim, or kill?

Wonder what kind of flower that is?

I really need to remember to charge my ipod.

Am I really going 70 in a 43 year old car?!


And the list goes on and on...

Here's some blog fodder from recent times. Enjoy.

Take care - Me







-- For those of you not in the know (as I was the DAY before this was due) the above character you see is Flat Stanley. Moosie was in charge of dressing him and apparently we were supposed to be taking him with us for the previous few days. This did not happen, so we rushed around, got him clothed and took him sight-seeing. More photos can be found on the Gives Thanks blog.

List No. 359...

Christmas Music on iPod - Check (A couple of weeks ago)

Lights - Check (Last week)

Christmas Tree - Check (Today)

Christmas Gifts - Nope. Not all bought, none wrapped, some I don't even know what I'm getting. And while I did purchase the first gift online on Black Friday, the majority of the shopping has been done in the past 7 days.

This one's for you, Marcus. :)

Take care - Me

Signed, Sealed, Delivered...

At long last, it is done. The Noah's Ark for the local church has been completed. Glory be unto God.

Like a song you can't quit singing...

So, if you were wondering about my head list, yes, it’s still there. Running, at times, like a rain-swollen, knocking houses over river. And because I don’t really have it in me to be witty or very informative this morning, and because I have a crap load of laundry to catch up on before my household is running around nekkid, here’s today’s version of the list. Please note, these items are in no certain order of importance. Also, some items may be morbid – please don’t be alarmed as Mother is doing relatively well.

Laundry, dishes, dusting, organizing photos into binders, cleaning bookshelves to have room for binders, laundry, boxing old books/toys/clothes for donation, work on guitar manual, restore some of Mother’s childhood pictures for aunts, scan/touch up/organize photos for Mother’s funeral service, laundry, buy kids’ birthday presents, figure out how to make turtle-shaped cake & gocart-shaped cake, buy cookie cutters in same shapes for school birthday party, clean floors, organize closets, take care of the 941 taxes for the tire store, take care of State Withholding taxes for the store, figure out if I need write-offs for my graphic design business, finish the ark painting at the church, wash Rokimus’ racing jacket for Saturday’s race, pull up carpet in all bedrooms/office/playroom, laundry, order Mother’s urn, decide what to do about the new digital camera I’d like for my birthday, decide about purchasing a 1968 VW transporter, contact State Trooper’s office about getting the store set up again to do State Inspection Stickers, decide which kind of alignment machine we need to go with for the store, decide if laptop would really benefit me, check into high-speed for the store so that I can do my graphic work while managing the tire store, spend as much time as I can with Mother/kids/husband/Daddy, make sure the epileptic basset hound gets medicine 3 times a day, back-up my accounting software and the store’s, figure out what to do about our house addition, laundry, blog…

And the list goes on and on.

By the way, Mother’s scan was not real good. The cancer has spread & grown. We’ve changed chemo again. We’re trying one of the older chemos in hopes of keeping her quality of life good for as long as possible. She’ll hopefully be able to receive this one every 6 weeks. The down side is that they can only give it to her 3 or 4 times. Period. 18 to 24 weeks is not that long in the scheme of things. She’s heading home to Wisconsin tomorrow for a couple of weeks. She believes that this will be her last trip home. I’m going to feel very lost without her here.

I hope ya’ll enjoy the moment. Any moment. Because we never really know what the next moment will bring.

Take care – Me

What's your choice?

I have a theme running through my head lately. It's right there with the constantly running list that goes through my head like a bad jingle from a commercial. That theme is choice.

Every morning we have a choice. We can choose to get out of bed and start our day, or we can choose to stay there and let life pass us by. Everyday, every minute, we make a choice on how to live. Do we choose to look at only the bad? To let the things going on in our lives control our every movement? Do we choose to dwell on the things that have gone wrong and let those bring us down? Or do we choose to let them go, as hard as that may be?

Everyone has something. Something that is not going right for them. Something that is just weighing on their mind, heart and soul at any given moment. It's the choice we make on how to deal with it that matters. If the choice is made to think of nothing except the negative, then that is what will drive our lives - the negative. That negative will explode, contaminating everything else in our lives. Instead, if we can let the negative go, positive will win out. And that positive will touch the things in our lives.

Some people might call this denial. Denial that things are as bad as what they seem. I choose to call it choice. I choose to live my life. period. Because that's what it is - LIFE. If we are not living our lives, then what good is it to wake up and breathe? We all take life for granted. We hear or know of others that could possibly not have their lives months, or even weeks from now. We think, oh, what a shame, or we may even say to ourselves, you just never know. Then there's the proverbial bus that could hit you. And we think about how our lives could be cut short. That thought only last as long as a breath normally, then it's back to getting sucked in by the mundane.

I choose to live. I choose to let things that are out of my control go. Worry and anger have less control over me now. I do not want to live whatever time I have left worrying about my dirty house, the spot that won't come off the car or what my children will grow up to be. I want to live, laugh and love. I want to roll with the punches and come out of adversity wiser. I choose life and I choose to live it, not just go through the motions.

Take care - Me

Things that make me want to scream...

Well, yesterday was Fantabulous! Mother felt great, she got released from the surgeon in Jackson, we ate lunch at Macaroni Grill, bought hats at TJ Maxx, and generally just enjoyed life.

Did I mention that was yesterday? Let me give you my list of today's not so greatness:

1. Daughter with ear infections. That's right, both ears infected and with perforated eardrums. Daughter who had a shot, antibiotic ear drops, oral antibiotics and drops for pain. Said daughter will now be known as Velcro.

2. Son who was picked up from school today as he has fever, cough and snotty nose and the desire to torture his sister in the form of not doing what she wants when she wants how she wants. (Did I mention that Velcro is a bit bossy today?) Also, said son just got a 5 minute time out in his room for throwing a fit when I told him no to going up to the shop to weld.

3. Grandmother & Aunt #3 in town to visit Mother. Aunt #3 is a pancreatic cancer survivor. While this is a wonderful and rare occurrence, this does not give her the right to make medical decisions for Mother. It also does not give her the right to tell Mother she should go to the beach when Mother is feeling tired & worn out. Grandmother is fine though.

4. Organic Buying Club Lady (hereafter known as OBCL) telling me that coffee & sugar are the causes of pancreatic cancer and that I should take Mother to local doctor for alternative healing through foods & biofeedback meridian line machine. Only $400 to start, including some initial herbal medications. Also, chemo should not be administered due to the harshness to the system. Um yeah, it's harsh - cancer is harsher.

5. Last, but not least - FREAKING CRAYONS IN LAUNDRY! Now, please understand, this is the 3rd load, yes 3RD FREAKING LOAD, of laundry this school year that has gotten the waxy shit all over a WHITE load. White freaking load, brown freaking crayon. Thanks be to whomever is responsible for Tide Coldwater & Shout. Thank you. And to the powers that be at the local school system who said to not buy washable crayons? Kiss my ass! Next year, if you want me to buy regular vs. washable crayons, you can by my year's supply of Coldwater Tide & Shout.

To those of you with sensitive eyes. I'm somewhat sorry for the language of this post, but not enough to remove it. If it offends that much, just move on to the next blog 'cause I really don't need you reading this one.

Take care - Me

Only 5 Mintues...

When: Saturday Afternoon
Where: My kitchen
Background: Mother's not feeling well, so I had to go to Looney to run the tire shop. Speedy took kids to ball practice in freezing weather. I got home & started laundry, dyeing eggs, making fake blood for the local church's Easter contata.

Phone rings, I answer

Dude: blah blahbla marketing survey, blah blah... 5 minutes of your time.

Me: Um, this really is not a good time for me.

Dude: 5 minutes, blah blah blah

Me: I don't think you understand. I have to bag the blood for the local Baptist church, gather my daughter's eggs, find my 6 year old son who is probably either welding or roping a steerhead, get the laundry out of the dryer and transfer load from washer to dryer, get up to the church to paint the never-ending Noah's ark and make sure my husband has everything needed for his powerpoint presentation of dead Jesus. So, sir, unless you can come to my house and help me with all this crap, I REALLY don't have five minutes for a survey.

Dude: Uh, m'am thank you for your time. Click.

Hope your weekend was good.

Take care - Me

Item No.3265 or 50th Anniversary Party

The 50th anniversary party went very well. For a small bfe community the turn out for this was great. There was a slide show of the happy couple starting at childhood moving up to current day. The food was delicious and plentiful. The punch, with the heart-shapped ice went was enjoyed by all. The decorations are still being talked about (in a good way) today. (or at least yesterday at church, where I the heathen was not, but Speedy was.) So, here are a couple of pictures to attest that there really was a party & I really was there for it. My sister and I are in the last picture. While I did not get her permission to post this and she does read this, (Hi Sister!) I felt it would be safe to post as neither of us are truly recognizable.

Rollin' Weekend...

So, it's been a busy life around LaLa lately. Friday saw Moosie and me in her doctor's office getting tested for strep. Yep, it was and yep, she got a shot. This was the first time a shot was offered instead of the twice a day for 10 days syrup from hell. We chose the shot & yes, she screamed. She also commented to the nurses that acupuncture was NOTHING like getting a shot & maybe next time she could visit the acupuncturist instead!

Saturday saw me taking care of Moosie, doing laundry, getting 48 Valentines ready for the kids, shopping for the upcoming 50th wedding anniversary party and arranging for pick up of Rokimus' latest welded art piece (another bottle tree) for Ganny. Of course, I feel that my bottle tree is much better, as it was his first design, but Ganny was quite impressed with hers.

Sunday rolled in with the usual church thing, this week without the "fit" but with the rush of blue-hairs rushing in to ask what they could do to help with the party next Saturday. Amazingly enough, when they ask, they are really telling me what they will be doing & bringing, because obviously I am not competent enough to handle something of this nature. Because, you know, I lived in Memphis for a number of years - alone, I have a tattoo, I don't believe in the Southern Baptist theology, and finally, I abandon my family a few times a year to gain some form of sanity back via wonderful art festivals in Fairhope or movie nights & Indian food in Memphis. I mean really, I must need help!

Sunday was also the continuation of the valentines, laundry - never-ending, ever-piling loads that must be washed, dried & put away, kids' valentine holding boxes for school (Moosie=Turtle, Rokimus=Race Car) and the usual household stuff like cooking supper, cleaning kitchen, dealing with the Epileptic basset mix.

So, I'll be a bit busy this week, but this one should be wordy enough to last a day or two. :) I hope ya'll (all two of you who read this) have a great week & I'll check in with you later.

You Are The Devil

You don't represent evil, but you do represent the animalistic side of humans. You demonstrate what happens when we listen to our first instincts. At times you tend to be materialistic and hedonistic, giving in to temptation. Admit it, you're guilty of acting first - and forgetting to think later! Your fortune: Right now, you may be having a difficult time as a result of choices you have made. You need to think about what's important in your life, and discover what chains you down. It is the time to acknowledge your faults and take steps to overcome them. It's also the time to let go of any fears or inhibitions that are holding you back.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Lists, Breathing and Shoving...

There's a list running through my head at any given moment, that is if there was a moment given to me. You see, I have a running dialog about things that were done, things needing to be done in the immediate future and things that I need to be planning for. This includes everything from changing the sheets, working on my current "paying" job and feeding the dogs to finishing a wall mural at a local church, working on a friend's painting, cutting strips out of the modal sheets LB ate holes through... and the list goes on and on and on. I also have lists that are for places that I visit, like Mobile/Fairhope & Memphis.

I need quiet, but when all devices are turned off, there's still that list running through my head. And where does taking care of me fall in the list? Dead ass last. That's where. Why? I don't know, but I'm working on putting me somewhere near the middle. Why the middle? Because occasionally, I'll work my list backwards.

A couple of months ago I was feeling like everyone was taking little pieces of me until there was nothing left in the reserves. I got sick, literally physically ill because there was nothing left in me to fight. Fortunately I have an acupuncturist. Yes, getting tiny needles stuck in places all over my body brings me peace & well being. For four and a half hours, someone else is taking care of me and all those list items just drift away. Her only goal is to get me better - physically, emotionally and spiritually. That's a tall order for someone to fill and she does it beautifully.

This time she had a biofeedback machine to help with the acupuncture. What an experience. She told me things that hit dead on. Jealousy? Yep - I'm working on that now in fact. I think it's just asinine that we have this cold, crappy weather and yet STILL NO SNOW! NO SNOW! NO SNOW! What the f*(*?! What have I done to deserve no snow while just a few hours away they're getting it out the wazoo? (Obviously, I'm not ready to let this jealousy thing go yet - but I'm working on it.)

She also told me that my reserves are "dangerously" low. Well, no shit sherlock. I've been giving out pieces of me left and right. It was her next question that stopped me: "What do you get out of that?" Huh. There's got to be a payback if it's something I just keep doing - and I do. Someone wants me to be on a committee for a church I don't even agree with theologically? SURE, No problem - I can do that. What's that - you're anniversary is actually next month, not 6 months from now, and you need a party at the church? And you need me to design the invitations, coordinate the decorating/cake/servers/etc? And take the photo for the newspaper write-ups? Sure, that's a breeze.

What do I get out of it? Maybe somewhere deep down, I feel the need to justify my life. That by being everything to everyone, I'll be OK with who I am. That my life will mean something. Because you know what? On most days I don't mean very much to me. I'm just a stay at home mom whose kids are in school. I'm a graphic designer for a company that every now and then needs my work, and every now and then pays me for it. I like taking photographs, but don't consider myself to be a very good one. I occasionally enjoy painting, but normally end up starting all over because what's on that canvas sucks in my eyes.

-- I actually wrote the above this morning. I've since been to Looney, MS and back. I've done some thinking & some breathing. Deep breathing. I have to stop and remind myself that we are created in the image of God. While I may joke that He must have had a rough day when He created me, really He didn't. He didn't screw me up, I did. My insecurities are just what I allow them to be. I can allow them to take over my being, or I can shove them down & get on with life. The good and the bad. I'm shoving & at this moment, I'm winning.