Not so pissy, hopefully...

I've been told my previous post came across as high & mighty. The easy thing to do would be to delete the post or to just ignore that. I'm doing neither. It really aggravates me when posts are deleted.

What I am going to do is clarify a bit.

By no means do I think that I am better than another. I love reading political ideas posted on my friends blog and look forward to them. Even when I don't agree 100%, I like hearing ideas and reading things that make me think. He definitely does that & I greatly appreciate his zest for bettering our country.

The whole teaching the kids by example, do unto others, thing came from my own home life earlier in the day when the kids were attempting to get on my very. last. nerve. They were constantly berating each other and mocking each other - something I do not tolerate at all. I did not mean to come across as everyone who reads this (thanks all 4 of you for reading) should take up this for their own lives.

The grief thing has been clarified off blog. I will no longer hide that grief if I feel the need to blog about it. So be prepared. I think I'm really surprised with myself for continuing to have strong grief. I know that the average grieving period is four years, but I really thought I'd have a better handle on it. Maybe if I'd taken the time two years ago to really grieve it would be different. I didn't have that option though with having to run a business before, during and after Mother died. I do have anger issues that I'm trying to let go. I'll get there, it's just slower than I thought it would be. I am getting better with grief, I've been able to smile about a memory the kids brought up. I waited for the tears, but they didn't come. That's progress.

I will not apologize for saying that the politicians are evil. I think there needs to be a MAJOR house cleaning in Washington. They have become complacent, greedy and out of touch with what the majority of Americans are going through. I love Marcus' idea of having them make the same that their voters make! I also think they should not have the special medical services they do. They should have to pay for insurance like everyone else. All special treatments/benefits should be removed.

OK, I need to get off here now. Hopefully this will help clarify things and not come across as pissy as yesterday. :)

Take care - Me

Blah, blah blah

So, I'm still alive and how are you? :)

We went to NYC and let me just tell you - I will be going back. What a fabulous city! The architecture, diversity, subways, food, people... AMAZING! My daughter is even trying to talk me into a "girls" only weekend trip - she's 9 and realizes how great it was!

The day we got back I had to start the backdrop for our church children's choir Christmas special. It was only 8' x 24' and had to be done 4 days before originally scheduled! No worries, it got done and the show was great.

Christmas came and went, the kids got iPod Touches from Santa, Moosie had hers stolen from the store within a week of getting it. Papa & I went in together to buy her a replacement. The perpetrator is still out there and the law knows where they are, but no action has been taken yet as they are wanting to get them on other charges too.

New Years came and went, we've had snow and cold weather. Unusual for our area. We also survived indoor kart racing with both kids winning their classes. We start up the regular races later this month.

I think that about hits the "what we've been up to" blah. Now, here's some tidbits that may or may not interest you.

Recently, I stopped to help someone who was having car trouble. Back road, middle of nowhere, on my way to work and kids in the truck. Told kids to stay in there, locked the doors, dude was out of gas, a friend of mine stopped by and offered to get the gas for him. Went on to work, found out later broke down dude was arrested later that day and would be extradited to Florida on child porn charges and alleged child murder.

I really haven't felt like blogging. I don't want this to be a rant and rave reading area and that's what I feel like it was becoming. Yes, I still miss Mother. It's still hard and there are times when the grief takes my breath away. Do you really want to hear about that? I know of one friend that really doesn't. He really doesn't get the depth of grief when losing someone you love that much. So I don't post it.

Speaking of that friend, he likes to rant about the Republican party and it's evils. That's fine, his opinion-his blog. Personally, I think they're all evil. Republican, Democrat, Independent - doesn't matter. They are after their own personal wealth and advancement. Noone is perfect and it certainly doesn't make me feel any better to tear someone down that I know or don't know personally. I'm not into that. I have really been trying to do that whole treat others how you want to be treated. I cannot teach my children that if I'm not living it. So, I'm trying to live it.

Speaking of teaching - we are still homeschooling. I think we're doing pretty good considering we all still have our hair and are still alive. ;) Actually, lately, it's been going very well. I think we've settled into it and are enjoying the learning process together. I like having the kids around and seeing them learn new things and think of new ideas.

Here's some links I've found recently and think are interesting:

Stupid Votes

Daily Howler

The Non Sequitur

The Stopped Clock

NYC Photos:

Take care - Me

Holy Cats!

I cannot believe it's been so long! Since I've joined the Facebook world, I guess I've just forgotten about the blogland.

We've been pretty busy, but things are going pretty good.

Last month found us in South Carolina for the Maxxis National Championship kart races. Rokimus made the show both days as did Moosie. (Moosie was in the beginner class, so all those karters were allowed to race the feature.) Moosie did not race Sunday as she felt it was not worth it if they weren't going to put transponders on the karts. (Transponders keep track of speed and racing positions.) Rokimus had some rough luck on both days of racing, but he kept on driving! It amazes me that he has such drive and heart for this sport. As soon as his jacket, gloves and helmet go on, he is one focused person! We have two more races on the schedule for this year. This weekend will find us in Brandon, MS at our first attempt for indoor kart racing. Both kids will race, with Rokimus racing in at least two classes, probably three. The following weekend will be a local track make up race for points. After that, I'll be racing to get the house work done that doesn't seem to get done during racing season.

I'm also planning for a trip next month to NEW YORK CITY!! :) I'm very excited and very nervous. As one who does not care for people invading my personal space, I feel it will be a very "learning" experience. We'll be there for about a week and plan to take in the Sony Wonder Lab, the Rockettes at Radio City, Lady Liberty (including the crown), not to mention the art museums and of course, the window displays! We're staying at the Hotel Beacon for most of the trip, so I'm thinking of getting us tickets to a show at the Beacon Theatre for one of those nights. Actually, just now, linking the Theatre, I've found a Cirque du Soleil performance at the WaMu that looks great!

I did have my hand doc appointment last month. He's released me. They are thinking that it's becoming an arthritic situation. Right now, there's not enough pain for me to see a specialist. Last week, I did have to get one finger sliced open due to an infection around my nail that puffed up and looked horrendous! It felt even worse. I'm on antibiotics for a few more days and the finger is much better!

So, really, besides the homeschooling, racing, trip-planning, working and minor health issues, life is good here. :)

Take care - Me

Better, kinda...

So, homeschooling is going better. I'm trying to be more relaxed about it, not stressing over every... single... thing. :) I'm not saying that every day is a glorious, education-filled dream of living, but it's getting better for the kids and me. I can say that I'm very thankful for Schoolhouse Rocks and chemistry experiments! They're even wanting to listen to the Schoolhouse Rocks while they go to sleep now.

Last week was pretty crazy. My life kind of crazy. We traveled to Missouri for a big race where Rokimus was somewhat a guest of honor. The Saturday before the trip, I had to go work a golf tournament that was named after Mother. On the way there, I hit a rabbit with the Honda and kept on going. Just a rabbit, right? I said my usual prayer to Francis and kept on. Speedy was home working on gokarts and trying to get the video ready for upload on our racing site. He broke the camcorder trying to get a tape in/out. Great.

Fast forward to Monday. Took the Honda to work and to transport two of the dogs and one cat to the vet for boarding/spading. The kids and I smelled something on the way home, but figured it was Charlie the basset mix who is notorious for getting car sick. I washed all protective coverings when I got home.

Tuesday - day before trip. Get in the Honda after schooling to run errands in town. Smell something horrible. Go next door to my in-laws to tell kids bye. Open hood. Proceed to almost toss my cookies in near by bushes. Remember hitting rabbit. Shit. Figure I probably hit it harder than I thought and there must be pieces left in there. Go in the house, very kindly, very beggingly ask Grandaddy Chief if he would power wash the engine compartment. We go up to the shop and open the hood again. Then we notice that the front bumper where the grill is located is broken. He takes off the top part of the bumper. There's the entire, dead, putrid rabbit laying there. That rabbit broke the bumper grill, bent the AC compressor into the radiator and now I'm on my way to the body shop for $2500 worth of damage. From a rabbit. The day before our trip. Thank goodness we were taking the BAT. (big ass truck) Finally go to nearest big town to get replacement camcorder for big race weekend. Get back home and work on laundry until late in the night. The last load, which held my good shorts, some of Speedy's work clothes and some children clothing also contained a red crayon. A crayon that proceeded to melt all over my dryer and the load of clothing.

Friday. We've made it to Missouri. Rokimus is practicing in his newly won kart. Only it's not the body he can race in. They don't know where that one is. Should be in that night. I'm shooting (photographing) the practices. Life is good. Then... nothing. My beloved Nikon D80 stopped. Completely. Err flashing at me. No pictures being saved by the memory card. Shutter still working. It's dead. Luckily, my sister is there with her Coolpix and lets me use it.

Racing - The body did get there. The pit crew we were told would be in charge were great until their kart started racing. The kid (probably early 20's) supposed to be helping us didn't even show for one of the races and then didn't get enough fuel in for the qualifying of the big race. Rokimus gave 100% and I am proud of the way he kept on going even though things weren't running quite as smooth as we'd hoped. A tire came off in one of the features, so he didn't even get to finish that race. Just stuff like that. The kind of race night where you're just ready for it to be over. Don't get me wrong, I'm still humbled and thankful that Rokimus was chosen for this and that we got to meet some really neat racing people that generously donated the kart, motor, clutch, graphics, tires and time. I just wish that we would have had a clearer picture about how the pits and racing would be handled. How we run the pitting and kart set up is a bit different than how they do it and that's an adjustment, especially when mistakes and overlooks keep happening and you feel like you have no control over it.

So, right now, things are better. I'm certainly glad to be back in the land of red dirt. I have the Honda back and it looks great and smells even better! We've got a new kart sitting in the shop ready to head to the track this weekend for another big race. Schooling is going smoother and I'm really enjoying being around the kids to watch them learn. The new camcorder has a few bugs and we're undecided about returning right now. My camera has to be sent in for repairs and that will take at least two weeks and who knows how much money. I'm trying to plead my case about getting a Nikon D300, but when I look at my old refrigerator, it's hard to justify spending that kind of money. The crayon load of laundry is soaking in the washer right now, so we'll see about that. Shout and Tide Coldwater can do amazing things for crayons. I should know, I've used it before!

Take care - Me

Breathe, just breathe...

So, how are you?

Me? Oh, I'm crazy... I mean fine, really, I'm fine.

We started homeschooling this week. Monday, in fact. I still have all my hair. The kids are still alive. That's good - right? I have been researching homeschooling for about 3 years now. Do you know how good those books, articles, blogs and e-zines can make it sound? How easy? Check it out - you'll see.

There is a part of me that thinks I should be wearing a hippy-cool, hand-dyed, organic shirt over some fab linen slacks (full leg, of course) while chanting and holding hands with my children as we learn of far away places and their cultures. We'd fix fantastical meals based on the country we'd study, learn their music and art, their religions. Then, we'd fall into each others arms with a blissful, well-educated sigh.

This is not our reality. Our reality is that I just realized today that we have yet to cover any history or social studies. ANY. At all. None. We have covered the basics of Chemistry. They love it. We have started into multiplication while refreshing our addition and subtraction. We've worked on the tenses, prepositions, dual-meaning words and various other grammatical items. We've read. We've written. We've cried. We've cursed. Oh wait - that was just me. We've smoked way too many cigarettes. Again - just me.

Sitting here tonight in the silence, with all kinds of books, notebooks and learning materials surrounding me, I think I've come to a new way of thinking. Stop stressing. Stop worrying that he's meeting every Mississippi requirement. Isn't that why we're homeschooling? To learn at our paces? To learn in an interesting way? Rokimus is having a very difficult transition with his Mom becoming his teacher. I'm also having difficulties. In the back of my head are the voices of those around me who are not on board with this endeavor. The ones who doubt I can do this. Honestly, those voices may be imagined, but they are still there. Am I good enough? I feel like a horrible person when I get aggravated that he won't sit down and pay attention. That he won't think for himself - just think. Read something, think about it and implement it. Do they not teach that in the school system anymore? Is it just me? And then, when he's done complaining and whining and figures out that I'm not giving into his crap - he'll do it. ARGH. Why did it take him 20 minutes of all that just to figure out that he's still got to do it?!

So, luckily Moosie is loving this. It helps to know that. I think I may attempt to work them separately somewhat. I may even slack off on the formal educational side of things and work on their thinking/implementing skills. This mainly shows up in worksheets that I've given them. We'll still be working on the education, but I've got to find a different way to approach it with Rokimus.

Anywho. That's what's going on here. That and we're traveling to Missouri next week. You see, Rokimus has won a really large contest through a racing magazine. He's going to represent them in a really big race up there next week. Then after the race, we get to pack up that about $6000 kart and bring it home. So, cool, huh? :)

Take care - Me

Can we keep her?

I am currently hosting a friend's daughter. I have had the privilege to have her in my house since Sunday afternoon. I think the plan (her parent's plan) is for her to return home on Saturday. Their plan and mine do not match up. I think I'm keeping her. I know I want to. I think that she's really my daughter, I just didn't give birth to her. I guess that would have to count for something though - the whole birth-giving thing. The thing is, even my kids want to keep her. I think we've rescued too many strays - they think if a creature stays around for more than a night or two, they get to decide if we keep it or not.

So, while I don't think my plan to keep her will work out, I do want her folks to understand that they have done a fantabulous job raising this young lady. I also want to let you know that we may not be available to answer any phones or emails until I'm ready to give her up. We have caller ID & know how to use it. :) I also know Mar's love for the roads that have to be taken to get to my house, so I feel somewhat safe keeping her at my house.

I may be able to bribe my children into releasing your child back into your custody if we can hand-deliver her and insure that she is better off at your house by having an in-home evaluation period of a few days.

I'm just say'n.

Take care - Me

Not so happy...

Happy Birthday Mom.

I miss you, the kids miss you and generally everyone I've talked to lately misses your smile.

Sis and I are going to town to each lunch today. I told the kids I'd get some flowers to plant and a couple of balloons to release. Rokimus started crying last night. He misses you. If I remember correctly, it's the first time he's really cried about you being gone. There's so much that you're not here to see, to touch, to respond to. I know you like the term "stop to smell the flowers" but I'm going to have to take your post-surgery version of "flip the flowers" for today. I am happy that you were born, I am grateful that we had you for as long as we did and knew you until our adulthood and that my kids have memories of you. But really - this sucks.

Take care - Me