Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Blah, blah, blah... No.324

I don't really feel like blogging. I don't really feel like talking at all. I would love to be in a corner chewing my hair and mumbling obscene comments, but life won't let me at this point.

Mother is home. We brought her home with hospice last Thursday. She's glad to be home and that's the only thing that counts in my opinion. Her happiness and comfort. My sister is staying there with her 24/7. My grandmother and one of my aunts is here also. God help us. And help us now, please. Enough said about that.

At last count, which was about 2 weeks ago, Mother's CA19-9 was 912,948. Yes, that's almost one MILLION. The doc says that if he were to check it again, it would be well over one million. MILLION. Yes, she's set a record. Yes, she's very pleased with this. :) I mean really, she might as well get something out of this horrible disease!

Honestly though, I don't really expect her to be with us much longer. She's sleeping more and more & she's really tired. Tired of fighting, of pain and of having this intruder in her body. She's at peace with the afterlife and is ready to face it head on. We are, as always, on God's time now.

On other news, the kids did great in the science fair! Moosie won 1st in division one (1st-3rd) grade in the category of microbiology with the title of Booger Challenge. Rokimus won 2nd in that division, category of engineering with the title Need for Speed. We will be going to MSU in late March for regional.

Here's where my perspective gets a bit whacked. I know that we, most likely, will have had Mother's service and will be burying her ashes after this science fair trip. We will not try to make the trip to Wisconsin to bury them before the science fair, as that would likely cause Mother to come back and haunt me. She is determined that those kids go to MSU and that I accompany them. My sister also will hopefully attend with us. We'll have the local service before the science fair, then bury the ashes sometime after that. 

Everything that is now mentioned as a tentative plan is automatically entered into my brain as being before or after Mother dies. This is not a happy state of mind to be in.

Take care - Me

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